Protesting in the rain
Is this what Singaporeans have become like? Sad and angry? Or maybe the prevalent feeling there is one of hopelessness. Maybe they know their protest is an exercise in futility, but they show up anyway, because it is the right thing to do. What choice do they have? Singapore is their homeland, and they will be damned if they watched it go down the hole without doing anything at all. They can't just pack up and leave.
Or can they? This may not have been an option that many of them even considered, but the answer is yes. They absolutely can. It is not easy at all, but if you take the leap and tough it out for a few years, you can be resettled somewhere else and be very comfortable. Living in New York has been very rewarding for me. It is not by any means perfect, but it is very much home to me. While I still feel bound to Singapore in many ways and do get upset when something bad happens to my birth country, I do not wish to return.
I love New York; it is now home to me
Moving out of Singapore is admittedly an easier thing to do if you are younger rather than older. I moved out of Singapore when I was in my twenties. I was excited to move to the city that I knew so well only through movies. Moving was part scary but a larger part thrilling. I wanted to experience something new- pick up the cultural nuances, learn about the subcultures and ethic enclaves that NYC is rife with, defend the honor of 'New York Pizza', avoid Times Square because "only tourists go there". My parents however, will never leave Singapore. They find it predictable and familiar; they are resistant to change and refuse to step out of their comfort zone. Singapore is all they ever knew so while they are unhappy with the recent changes (overcrowding, mass influx of PRCs, rising prices, etc), leaving is out of the question.
So if you are old and never want to move, stop reading here and go have a coffee at the local kopi tiam. Those that are young and curious about the possibility of moving, continue on.
1. Stay a year
First, you need to realize that moving is going to be very difficult. You have to steel yourself mentally and be very determined to stay at the new country for at least one year before even allowing yourself to reevaluate to see which city is better. It is crucial that you give yourself the time. You need it. You need it to really immerse yourself in a new culture, and maybe even a new language (not in my case). When I moved to New York, I refused to return home, even for a visit, for one whole year. I woke up in the morning and ate an American breakfast, worked with American colleagues, read American papers, and commuted via American subway. I knew ahead of time that it would be tough, that I would miss my family dearly, and that I would also not have their support. As a Singaporean, we are accustomed to very strong parental support. It is common for us to live with our parents until we get married, even if this happens only when we are in our late twenties or thirties. Fending for yourself is very difficult when you are used to that. You need to test yourself. If you go running back to your parents within a year, you're never going to learn how to be independent.
New year in New York... can you survive a whole year?
2. Build relationships
Everybody needs somebody. You are leaving everyone you ever knew behind, and so this is not an endeavor for the weak of heart. If you are thinking of moving with a boyfriend or girlfriend, that makes it easier. Alone or with dashing man/ graceful woman, you will still need to build and cement meaningful relationships in the new city. This is an important step in building a new home. My boyfriend already lived in New York when I moved, which made it easier because I always had him to talk to. I also thought that I could 'poach' his friends, but boy was I in for a huge culture shock. It turns out that I had nothing in common with any of his friends, and trust me, even though I had a pretty good understanding of the American culture, I was a fish out of water. Living it is very different from reading about it or watching it on TV or even an acquaintance with an American person in Singapore. Over time, I made friends that I liked and could confide in, and this played in huge part in helping me integrate into American society and feel at home.
Make friends!
3. Go native
There are other Singaporeans I know that live in the US but make it their life mission to seek out every single thing that is Singaporean here. They tirelessly hunt out Singaporean food to stockpile, Singaporean events to attend, and Singaporean people to befriend. All they want to do is eat at Nyonya and talk in Singlish all day. I don't understand these people at all. If you love Singapore THAT much, why move in the first place? It seems like such a torture for them to be away from the red dot. And Singaporeans are not the only culprits. Many people from China and other such countries migrate to the US but make no effort to integrate. Instead, they try to create a small piece of their home country in America. I have met people who have been here for 20 or 30 years and still don't speak English. Incredible! If you are going to move to another country, for Pete's sake, integrate. Don't hunt out other Singaporeans and then form a clique and be oblivious to everything else. I know a lot of Singaporean students do this in American schools here. Your new country has SO MUCH to offer, embrace all those wonderful things! Make local friends, eat local food, do local things. If you do not plan on doing this, stay in Singapore.
Do your best to integrate with the locals
My next post will cover more tips on how to make an easy and successful transition out of Singapore and into your new home. Stay tuned!
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